Shiverin' Timbers

First week of me employment…

I was in my favourite tavern when some lass came up to me and asked if I wanted to come to a party held by milady Lavinia Vanderboren. I remembered her form one of my most silliest heists planned ever. Instead of robbing the robbers, I saved the robbed one and that even without asking for a reward… thousand bombs and grenades… what was I thinking back then… seriously.

Well seeing as it promised free food and the pleasant company of milady Vanderboren herself I jumped the gun. Well not literally, figuratively speaking of course! She is quite a looker if I may say so, damn and I do and don’t you dare tell me otherwise or I’ll… I’ll… bah never mind, just sod off!

Anyway back to the point. So I went to the large mansion. Bloody sea dogs, a big place that be indeed! She shouldn’t be livin’ alone in such a big build… perhaps I can alleviate that problem.

So we gathered there and there were others present as well. There was this really nice looker called Ilona. May Davey Jones be damned but she got a mighty pair of … errrrrrrr shiners. Aye she does indeed. I wonder what she can do with the… I mean what she can do, hah! She looks like a pretty expensive uhmmmm companionship lady? At least it looks like she has some style. Than there was this girl named Isabella Whitemane, tad creepy, can’t say much about her at the moment. Than there was this las named Kaiya who had a very well toned and athletic body with two huge shiners on top of it… Seriously, but she looks like the type I shouldn’t mess with, not at all… In the back there was this kiddo Marek, I tell ya now. He’ll be lots of trouble, I can see it in his eyes. We are going to head butt for sure one day. Last but not least… that’s for sure, there is this guy named Martin, one or other self proclaimed knight of good valor, but all he can do is stalking young ladies it seems and well question every action I take… blimey. Hope he rots in Davey Jones locker.

So we had a nice meal and talked about a possible venture. Milady Vanderboren had paid a hefty sum of platinum to some fucko who had to liberate her ship to her when doing so. But instead he kept the money and her ship was still confiscated.

We headed to the docks with our small makeshift group and while we were heading there I noticed we were being followed… seven sea horned devils! I hate it when that happens. So I kept close to the wall as soon as we rounded the corner and waited for our stalker to appear. It seemed to be that kiddo called Marek. Saying he wanted in on the action since Milady Vanderboren meant so much to him. Little fucker he is, pointed me gun at his head and told him to never sneak up on me again if he doesn’t wanna meet my bullit special.

Anyway, at the docks the others tried to distract or get some information from the two guards there. Since it was nightfall I decided to head into the water and follow underneath the docks. Doing so I could reach the row-boat that was anchored there. But once more it appeared I was being followed again, guess by whom! That blasted Marek again. I swear to ya, one day, funeral at sea for him. I begrudgingly accepted him on board as I rowed towards the ship at a loading dock away from the harbour itself. I don’t know what the others were doing in the meantime.

So I did what I do best. Sneak on board and found me a good dark spot. Now was time to get that key and if lucky the money as well. What was that? They caught Marek?! Thousand bombs and grenades may a bullet bite him in his arse! I heard the badass boss tell his sailor to cut the lads throat and toss him overboard. What a pitty, having him die at such young age. Wait what? You are not going to do anything? Laws of the street huh? Blimey get off yer arse and save that kids life. Guess what… I did so. I shot one of the ropes holding the main sail and part of it came down on top of a couple of sailors. Distracting them enough for Marek to get away. Of course now I was in the center of attention. So guns blazing I was able to retreat into the cabin of the captain. I snooped around a bit and found a small coffin with.. YES! 110 platinum piece. Oh they are so beautiful and mine… errrr wait what? No not mine, Milady’s Vanderboren’s hers! I cannot steal from such a charming lady and even then. Its not mine, I didn’t steal it. The other fucko did. Gonna kill him for that. Trust me on that one! There was a fierce battle but in the end we won. Than I shot that fucker who stole the money and tossed him overboard. The ship was burning but the fire was put out by Marek who turned out to be some spellslinger. Will have to keep an eye on him. Gave the key to Isabella. Than as I headed back to my rowboat, Isabella joined me and not much later Marek was there again! What the fuck do I look like? Some kind of fucking baby sitter?! Really, get the fuck outa mah face! Anyway he kept on whining and whining about that money of milady Vanderboren, which I was gonna return. So I showed him where it was, damned little fucko. Gonna shoot him someday. I swear.

Now back at the house. We gave her the key and the money. The lady was pleased and Isabella and I were going to the harbourmaster’s to pay for the ships fees. Which we did. I even offered my services to replace the fucko I shot. Of course he didn’t needed to know that. Har har… The fucker declined. He didn’t realise how much of a genius I am. I could handle most troubles with ease and smarts. Shame on him… of course later on he was found dead at the docks with some navy ships burning. Noooo, dontcha look at me! I didn’t have my hand in it! Hah, and if I had, I wouldn’t be tellin’ ya land-rat!

So later on I sold the exotic animals in the ship and we made some nice money out of it, that together with the loot and my selling skills. I might add. It was a pretty nice loot. Bought me a couple of pistols with it. Yessir I did!

Shiverin' Timbers

Skull and Shackles devlaminckx